The jokes are done

You Tube have recently removed the full video of Zach Galifianakis's opening monlogue for SNL, but here is a shakey re-filming of the closing section of it:

as well as a different version of the same sketch from another performance here:

Yeah, whatever, I want some apple juice

Objectivity isn't the answer, either

Re-presenting Yakutsk

English translation of the voice-over:

'Undeniable energy, enthusiasm, and the will to work. A faith that the future will be as bright as the past was dark. Huge gaps, and a firm determination to fill them. While recording these images of the Yakutsk capital as objectively as possible, I frankly wondered whom they would satisfy. Because of course you can’t describe the Soviet Union as anything but the worker’s paradise, or, as hell on earth.

For example: “Yakutsk: capital of the Yakutsk autonomous Soviet socialistic republic is a modern city, in which comfortable buses made available to the population, share the streets with powerful ZIMs, the pride of the Soviet automobile industry, in the joyful spirit of socialist emulation, happy Soviet workers, among them this picturesque denizen of the Arctic reaches, apply themselves to making Yakutsk an even better place to live.”

Or else: “Yakutsk is a dark city with an evil reputation. The population is crammed into blood colored buses, while the members of the privileged caste brazenly display the luxury of their ZIMs, a costly and uncomfortable car at best. Bending to the task like slaves, the miserable Soviet workers, among them this sinister looking Asiatic, apply themselves to the primitive labor of grading with a drag beam.”

Or simply: “In Yakutsk, where modern houses are gradually replacing the dark older sections, a bus less crowded than its London or New York equivalent at rush hour passes a ZIM, an excellent car, reserved for public utilities departments on account of its scarcity. With courage and tenacity under extremely difficult conditions, Soviet workers, among them this Yakut, afflicted with an eye disorder, apply themselves to improving the appearance of their city, which could certainly use it.”

But objectivity isn’t the answer either. It may not distort Siberian realities, but it does isolate them long enough to be appraised and consequently distorts them all the same. What counts is the drive and the variety. A walk through the streets of Yakutsk isn’t going to make you understand Siberia. What you need might be an imaginary newsreel shot all over Siberia. I might screen it for you in the town’s spanking new movie theater. And the commentary would be made up of those Siberian expressions that are already pictures in themselves.'

- Chris Marker, Lettre de Sibérie, 1958